Ranking "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" Seasons

    We're moving right along with these season rankings of The Real Housewives franchise. Next stop on our rankings comes The Real Housewives of Atlanta. RHOA was the first franchise I watched, and I started watching right before the pandemic started, so I am still fairly new to the Housewives universe. RHOA is best known for its fulfilling amount of drama and gif-worthy moments. Most of RHOA's run has been widely successful with the juggernaut ratings and household names. Where did I place each season at in my ranking? Let's find out.

13. Season 13

     Is this one of the worst seasons of Housewives of all time? You're damn right it is. The season is just a mess, and it is one of the many reasons that the show's production team is abysmal at their jobs. The season needed 9 weeks to finally get started after many filler scenes and unbalanced editing kept it from coming together. Porsha is protected by the edit the whole season after her behind the scenes stunts that I will not even bother discussing here. Please google this season if you are unsure of what I am referring to. 

     The stripper episode is by-far one of the best episodes of Housewives in 2021. It is just a shame that the scandal was talked about the rest of the season, proving once again how the producers continue to fail us after 4 seasons. The women had no content to talk about due to them not giving a damn about one another which was not the case back in the glory days of the show. The season also brought us the additions of Drew and Latoya. Drew is by far one of the biggest liars I have ever witnessed in my life. The girl was straight up delusional and a professional gas lighter. Latoya proved to be a new pot stirrer who is reminiscent of an Internet troll. They both do deserve another season, though. 

     Overall, the season had no substance to it due to Porsha not willing to engage in the drama and most of the other women being past their expiration date on the show. Thank god Kenya at least tried to give us things to talk about rather than sitting back and taking up space like Cynthia and Kandi. However, even Kenya's antics couldn't raise this season higher in the rankings, so it ranks dead last...where it belongs. 

12. Season 11

     If I am being totally honest here, I have barely any recollection of this season. That is not a good sign. However, I do remember Eva reading Marlo for 45 minutes straight on the bus in Tokyo, and Nene assaulting a cameraman. I vaguely remember this season being tedious to get through as I did not really care about the drama or the cast dynamics that were being explored throughout the season. 

     This was the season where I became tired of Nene's shenanigans. It was sad to see her go from this iconic, household name to just a shadow of herself. There was nothing pleasant about her in this season or the following season. The other cast members barely pulled their weight during this season, either. A show should not have to resort to the recurring cast members for drama. It should be the main cast, and this season proved just how stale the cast had become at this point. It wasn't really until the finale where Kenya made her guest appearance that things finally started to get appealing. When the finale is the high point of the season, you know the show has seen better days.

     Overall, though, this season is better than season 13 due to the two memorable moments I listed above, but it is only a slight improvement. Moving onto the 11th "best" season of the series. 

11. Season 12

     Season 12 had the potential to be an excellent season, but it fell flat on its face. The group drama was interesting, but most of the drama was instigated behind the scenes, so the audience could not really gauge an opinion on most of it since there was an array of missing pieces. The season really suffered from its overbearing amount of solo scenes that made the last half of the season feel like a slog. (Remember that one episode where Nene's chapter was her preparing to have sex with her husband? Yes, that is what I am talking about with regards to the solo scenes diminishing the quality of the season.)

     Kenya made her full-time return this season, and I am so thankful that she did because that "Kenya Moore Hair Care" stunt she pulled truly made me roll on the floor. They needed her back to at least cause some type of mess because season 11 barely served us anything. Nene continued her downward spiral of being the totally unrecognizable funny and quick-witted Nene we saw in those first 6ish seasons. It was definitely her time to go after this season due to her walking off multiple times in the reunion and not returning.

     Speaking of the reunion, I actually think that it was a high point in the season. I am not a fan of Porsha at all, but she got Eva together real quick by reading her boob job. I may have snickered, but don't tell Porsha that. Kenya also put the final nail in Nene's coffin by basically telling her that her kids were ugly by comparing their looks to hers. Classic Kenya always has a spot in my heart. 

     Other than some drama, season 12 is another subpar chapter in the RHOA series as the filler episodes consumed the storytelling, overall flow, and narratives that the season was desperately trying to craft in the first half. What will be the next season I talk about? Scroll down to see!

10. Season 10

     How would I describe this season? I would describe it as "bad fan-fiction." Ok. The season isn't necessarily bad, but it isn't great either. What I mean by bad fan-fiction is that it seems like a die-hard fan of the show had all of these amazing ideas such as Nene and Kim coming back and fighting again, and Kenya having a season-long feud with Kim. Unfortunately, these ideas are great on paper, but people failed to realize that it had been a decade since the show started. People change. Kim was no longer the delusional mess we loved to hate in season 1. She was such a shadow of herself as she was a caricature of a caricature of herself. Same goes with Nene as I have previously stated. The reunion spat with the two of them was entertaining, but it was just so sad to see these two women be unrecognizable. 

     I said before that Kenya and Kim fighting would be expected to be a season-long arc, but it didn't pan out that way. We had that incredible moment in the premiere where Kenya accuses Kim of pimping her daughter out for John Legend tickets, but that was it. The producers were furious at Kenya for getting married off screen, so they sliced her camera time, and she seemed over the show at that point. 

     Something I did like about this season was Porsha and Nene not getting along. (The door is closed!) That was one of only a few factors that this season had going for it. This was the last season where we caught glimpses of the Nene we knew and loved, and it showed in her arguments with Porsha. Other than that, Nene was past her prime and was better off staying off the show entirely. 

     As you can see, the season had a few positives, but it could have been an all star season had production cared about their product more. Season 10 marked the last decent season of the show. Every installment that succeeded it proved to be feckless on the Housewives franchise as evinced by my ranking. Next case.

9. Season 1

    I would like to start off by reciting a verse from the Housewives Bible: "I can't believe the sh*t you talked about me. You have no class. You are so evil. Don't ever call me again. You are a low budget bitch." If you couldn't tell by my enthusiasm, I think this is a strong first season of the show. While it is a shorter season, the women get down and dirty right away as Sheree "mistakenly" leaves Nene's name off of her guest list, revealing how unhinged Nene is when people step to her. The special dynamic relationships between the women are established as Nene and Kim's friendship slowly but surely falls apart as the season progresses, leading to Nene's iconic "Close your legs to married men" quote. This is one of if not the best Housewives' feuds ever, and it does not get trite for five seasons.  

     The Nene that we fell in love with is clearly seen in this season. Her sharp tongue and iconic one-liners prove to be reality television gold. Kim Zolciak is a love to hate personality as we see her smoke cigarettes with a glass of wine in her hand while wearing bad wigs. We see her be this sort of repulsive, yet charming character who has older men pay for her things all the while being delusional and privileged. This is what we were missing out on when she returned in season 10. 

     Honestly, there was not a bad season of RHOA for the first nine seasons, but one of those seasons has to be "the weakest." Season 1 is a peek inside the craziness of these women's minds, and it only foreshadows the calamities that succeed it. Now onto the number eighth slot. 

8. Season 2

     Season 2 saw the addition of RHOA staple Kandi Burruss from Xscape. She was a worthy replacement of DeShawn (though anyone would have been a worthy replacement of DeShawn). Kandi and Nene's tension began in this season, and ever since, it felt like Nene was jealous of Kandi's accomplishments as she was mad at Kandi for not including her in a song with Kim. Kandi may have overstayed her welcome in the long-run, but she made for a fascinating housewife when she first appeared eleven years ago. 

     How can anyone not love that moment where Sheree "shifts" Kim's wig while Nene runs after "Lindsay Lohan's daddy?" I think this scene was the first in all of Housewives that made me non-stop laugh every time I witness it. Another underrated moment I feel is not talked about enough is when Kim and Nene have a rendezvous at Kim's house after Nene allegedly strangled her in a Target. When these two were good, they were GOOD.

     Though the reunion was not anything to write home about due to the women boycotting the network for not paying them enough, the gumption that Kim had to go up on stage to perform live in front of her castmates is highly coveted by me. Once a week I watch Sheree shading Kim's song by saying, "I thought it was fun...I liked the beat." Writing this makes me wish Sheree even more. I hope the rumors are true, and she makes her third full-time appearance on this upcoming RHOA season. Onto number 7!

7. Season 3

     Before the wild RHOC season 11 bus ride from hell came the highly quotable and chaotic RHOA season 3 bus ride from hell. After making up at the end of the previous season, Nene and Kim's feud was reignited after Nene felt that Kim disrespected her assistant/friend Sweetie. Poor Kandi was trapped in that bus and had to endure the threats and insults that the two were throwing at each other. This fight was definitely the nadir of Nene and Kim's relationship as they never truly recovered from this spar on the show for the rest of their tenures. "This is not Sweetie, ok?

     Season 3 marked the first appearances of series regulars Cynthia and Phaedra. While Cynthia never really popped off screen (in terms of entertainment as her beauty was quite noticeable), she did have her disaster of a wedding where her family debated hiding her marriage license. Cynthia definitely grew as the seasons went on. As for Phaedra, the woman was a liar the minute she stepped on the show. She lied about not knowing when she got pregnant, something so trivial that she had no business lying about. Though she is a horrible person, she made for a solid addition to the show.

     This season added onto the excellence that seasons 1 and 2 left in the reality television universe, and it did so spectacularly. We got to see Nene and Kim at their peaks of grandeur and delusion where they shined every time they were on screen together. Moving on. 

6. Season 7

     I am pretty sure that when this season was airing, it was considered to be the worst RHOA season. (Just goes to show how good the show was in its heyday.) I happened to really enjoy this season when I watched it. After season four, this season was heavily divided between Nene's clique and Kenya's clique. Among Kenya's clique was the severely underrated Claudia Jordan. When I tell you this woman was robbed by Bravo, I mean that she was ROBBED by Bravo. She came into the season and read Nene to filth. I have never seen Nene so out of her element in all of her 10 seasons. Claudia got her together real quick. How Claudia couldn't get another full-time season when people like Erika from RHOBH can get 6 seasons is baffling. 

     I was a huge fan of Cynthia in this season as she finally stopped accepting the lies and manipulation that she was put through by Nene and Phaedra. Who can forget Cynthia telling Phaedra to "win a case" at the reunion? It was very shocking to see Cynthia transform into someone who could hold their own in an argument. 

     Season 7 is Nene at her worst in my opinion. From running away from conversations to calling Claudia a "half breed," she really was frustrating to watch. She never really recovered from her performance this season. If her head had not gotten so big due to other opportunities, she may have had more longevity on the show. It was so satisfying to run away at the reunion by claiming that she didn't like the ladies talking about her mother when it was really because she was getting called out for her tactics by the other couch. For that reason alone, season 7 ranks in the top 6 seasons. Next! 

5. Season 8

     This is such an underrated season. I probably hold this season in higher regard than most, but it's just so bonkers. Yes, Kim Fields was a horrible (and I mean HORRIBLE) casting decision, but the drama with her put a wedge between Kenya and Cynthia's friendship, even if it was only short-lived. Regarding Kenya, this was definitely her worst season, and I did not agree with most of her choices this season; however, I am proud that she has since apologized to Kim for her antics toward her.

     The legendary Sheree Whitfield returned to the show after a three-season hiatus where she immediately clashed with Kenya over her home renovation situation. This started the highly amusing feud between the two that continued into the next season. More on that later. Sheree's presence was needed for this season as it gave Kenya a more suitable opponent than Kim Fields. 

     I think my favorite moment maybe ever from RHOA comes from the Miami trip. Tammy, who came out of the middle of nowhere, brought her nephew back to the cast house to where Kenya asked him to leave after feeling uncomfortable around him. His response to this is to begin to charge at her while pushing his aunt, causing complete bedlam between the cast and production. It was an extremely dire situation; however, the aftermath was comedy gold as Tammy showed up like a ghost at some of the women's door, still in her hospital gown. I wish we still got these unintentional hilarious moments in modern Housewives, but we really don't anymore because Bravo hates us apparently. I love this season, but I love the number 4 spot a little bit more!

4. Season 4

     I would consider season 4 to be the last season of the beginning era of RHOA. It marked the first departure of Sheree, and it may as well been the departure of Kim because she had no business returning for season 5 as she was clearly over the show. The season did an excellent job of closing out the show's first era as the drama and storylines really came to a head.

     The South Africa trip is one of the best trips of Housewives ever. The "talls" versus the "smalls" is such an underrated feud. I was obviously on the "smalls" side due to my favorites being on that side, but looking back, I like both alliances. Who can forget Sheree and new friend of the show Marlo fighting by making random noises at each other? Or when the ladies bought food and supplies for the poor people of Africa? I always love when a Housewives vacation can mix pettiness with good-heartedness. 

     The season 4 premiere is one of the best opening episodes of the franchise and has probably the most quotable exchanges in RHOA. Bless Sheree and Nene for giving us grade A content that involves dental surgery, car repossession, and Trump checks. Those two women really hated each other, and it showed during that heated argument. Cheers to the closing chapter of Atlanta's first era!

3. Season 5

      As season four closed one era of the show, season five began a new era of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Newcomers Kenya and Porsha made their debuts on this season, and they did not come to play. The two women were at each other's throats from day one as Porsha mistakenly called Kenya "Miss America" instead of "Miss USA." Their feud has continued ever since, becoming uglier as the seasons go on.

     Kenya is without a doubt one of the best additions of any Housewives cast. She went after whoever she felt like going after without a blink of an eye. If she didn't like you interrupting her during a modeling audition, she would go after you. If she didn't like you miscalling her pageant name, she would go after your sham marriage. She woke these viewers up if they by any chance weren't already. You cannot deny that people were glued to their screens by the sheer amount of craziness that this woman caused. She breathed life into a franchise that could have gone south if she had not been there.

     Honestly this whole season was carried by Kenya since Nene, in a way, took a season off after losing her enemies in only a few episodes (Kim and Sheree). Kenya and Phaedra's feud was so petty, yet so deep. Phaedra never had a real feud with anyone before, so it was fun to see Kenya give Phaedra some substance with the workout video drama. 

TLDR: Kenya is a star. Onto the next one!

2. Season 9

     

     How is this season not scripted? It feels like a dark mystery story where the answers to all of our questions are right under our noses the whole time. Can we touch on that word again? Dark? Because this season is definitely dark. However, the drama that came with it was so juicy, officially making it the last great season of RHOA.

     Let's start off with the light, yet hilarious aspects of the season. Sheree and Kenya's house war had us on our bellies. Talk about two housewives working for their paychecks. The feud was a continuation of season 8, but it was ramped up to an 11 since both of the women's homes were now complete. Sheree dragging Kenya's house is reality television at its best, leading to her famous "Oh oh oh" gif when Phaedra and Porsha crash Kenya's party. Put that in TV Guide's "Best 100 Episodes of All Time." Another fantastic moment is when the two are arguing to which Kenya brings up Kandi's mother's wig. Anyone that can get Kandi to get engage is always on my good side...well almost everyone, which brings me to the twisted features of the season.

     The season brings us one of the most uncomfortable, yet extremely engaging storylines in all of Housewives: Did Kandi try to take advantage of Porsha? Obviously the answer is no; however, the audience wanted to know how these salacious rumors were started. Now, allegedly, the executive producer at the time planted the bug in Phaedra's ear, but it does not matter. Phaedra was the one who started the rumors. This is honestly one of the most heinous acts ever committed by someone on a reality show, so Phaedra getting fired was well deserved. If only Porsha went with her. (I'm not gonna bad-mouth Porsha anymore I swear.) Though these slanderous claims were horrible, the season ended with the only 4-part reunion that led to the shocking revelation that Phaedra was the one responsible for the rumors being spread. I particularly liked it because Porsha and Phaedra were finally exposed after going seasons being manipulative and crafty in order to spin their narratives.

     You would think season 9 would be a movie plot, but it was just reality television, showing that reality television is not what you think it is. There will never be another season of RHOA that is this jaw-dropping and unprecedented ever again. 

1. Season 6

     Ah, season 6. The days when Nene still was iconic, Kandi still worked for her check, Kenya and Porsha's feud wasn't tired, the husbands got in on the drama, etc. Seriously, this season has it all, and everyone made sure that they delivered quality television to their viewers. The season was so spectacular that Bravo tried to stretched the it out longer due to the high ratings that it received. I never say that strong ratings correlate with strong quality; however, for this season, I will make an exception. 

     Can we talk about how Kenya took everyone on in this season? Yes, Cynthia eventually teamed up with her, but Kenya really is that bitch. She orchestrated almost every argument this season, and she got the women to engage with her. Pillow Talk is a prime example. That moment is just beyond ludicrous. Kandi never got that upset before, so it was surprising to see. How Kenya was blamed for that fight still continues to baffle me. Nene had no reason to feel threatened by Kenya, yet she allowed her disdain for her to cloud her judgment and her future on the show. 

Nene said what she said.

     The season ends on an unsettling, yet memorable altercation between Kenya and Porsha that has Porsha sent home. Kenya blasts a bullhorn near Porsha's face to which Porsha proceeds to drag Kenya by her hair. It was the first time that I had seen someone get violent on a Housewives show before. It just goes to show how real and raw the ladies can get towards each other and that reality television may produce some things, but real emotion always bleeds through. Season 6 will always be the best season of the show. Hell. It could even be the best season of Housewives of all time. 

Thank you for reading my ranking of the RHOA seasons. I will forever love this show even though it has seen better days. Let me know what your rankings are in the comments. Be nice and kind to one another! 

Ranking "The Real Housewives of Dallas" Seasons

      If I am going to rank each Real Housewives franchise one by one, then I may as well bite the bullet, and just get The Real Housewives of Dallas out of the way. Many fans consider this franchise to be the most futile out of the current cities, and I would not disagree with them. Most of the cast is forgettable and mediocre at best, so I cannot blame the fans that say this. Though this series has not produced many iconic moments in its five season run, this is not to say that all five seasons are bad. I actually like a couple of them. In this blog, like my RHONJ ranking, I will rank the five seasons from worst to best. If you disagree (or do not care), leave a comment. Let's do it. 

5. Season 1

     Ugh. That is really the best of my vocabulary that I can give to define this season. It really is just bad. Honestly, I would have scrapped half the cast after this first season because most of them did not deliver any form of entertainment. Leeanne carried the season on her back. She threatens to kill friend of the housewives, Marie, in a jarring, yet hysterically ridiculous tone that made viewers understand just how ridiculous of a person Leeanne is. Yes, this sounds psychotic, but it let the audience know that not everyone on the cast was going to be dead weight. Brandi and Stephanie proved to be bottomless pits of waste with their fart jokes and poop humor that screamed "peaked at high school." At least I learned that Natalie Bolton from Survivor: Micronesia had a sister that was on season one of RHOD. That was fun to discover, I guess. 

     This season is just so insignificant to the Housewives franchise, and it is definitely one of my least favorite seasons of reality television ever. I should have just taken a 10-hour nap rather than put myself through so much agony watching it. Let's just move on because this season is not worth any more of my time.

4. Season 5

     Season 5, the most recent season of the show, started off strong with the introduction of Dr. Tiffany Moon to the cast. She quickly called out Brandi's racism that she displayed in a leaked video. The dynamics were interesting for the first six episodes or so; however, the season soon nosedived into a ball of worthlessness. There was no direction and no driving storyline that could keep this season afloat. Those plights mixed with the unlikability and the implicit (and sometimes explicit) racism of the cast towards Tiffany were just hard to watch, especially Kameron's. 

     After the airing of the final part of the reunion, Kameron and her entire family made ignorant comments towards Asian people that were aimed to harm Tiffany. There is a line on these shows, and Kameron stepped over it numerous times to where I believe she should be fired (along with Brandi and Stephanie). The situation just completely summarized the overall tone of the season, and it just is not a positive tone in the slightest. The first six episodes save this season from being the worst-ranked. Moving on. 

3. Season 4

     This season was the final season for breakout star Leeanne Locken. Though Leeanne provided viewers with most of the RHOD's "memorable" moments, she overstepped her boundaries this season by using derogatory comments towards Kary's race. Yes, another racism scandal took place way before season 5's shenanigans, exhibiting the type of women you will unfortunately discover on this show.

     Season 4 is another subpar season of the show. The first half is decent, but it is impossible to rally behind once Leeanne makes her racist statements. However, there are endearing scenes in the first half of the season that keep this season above season 5. Kary and D'Andra poking fun at Leeanne's L'Infinity dress was funny, and Leeanne's wedding was a colossal trainwreck. (5 hours between the ceremony and reception, anyone?) Other than those two moments, the season flatlined and became another mediocre addition to the RHOD franchise. Now let's get to some actual great seasons of this series. 

2. Season 2

     RHOD's sophomore season is a vast improvement over its predecessor. The season adds two fresh faces to the group in D'Andra and Kameron. Though Kameron has revealed herself to be a truly despicable human being recently, she really did make her mark on her debut season. She started a feud with Brandi over a sex toy. So silly yet entertaining as hell. This season is also D'Andra's first season where her famous mother, Mama Dee, is introduced. Their relationship issues have played out ever since this season, and they have yet to become hackneyed. 

     Probably the most iconic moment from the entire franchise occurs in this season when Leeanne smashes a glass out of anger. It really clued in audiences to how insane Leeanne truly was. Also, Leeanne spreading a rumor about Cary's husband through her microphone is quite memorable and has become a very quotable Housewives' line. This season along with the best season of the show are very underrated seasons that should receive more appreciation due to so much happening in both. What season finished as the best? Scroll down to see!

1. Season 3

     By far RHOD's best season is season 3. It's truly a hidden gem of a season. Yes, it's a poorly rated and highly disregarded franchise, but season 3 is a season that I implore you to watch if you have not already done so. I think this season is the peak in terms of casting and storylines. It was also the final full-time season for Cary Deuber, the all-star bone collector. Her pot stirring set off ludicrous amounts of drama.

    Memorable moments of the season include Kameron and D'Andra fighting in Copenhagen where Kameron refuses to get on an elevator with D'Andra. Whoever edited and produced that episode need Emmys immediately. Another great storyline was when Leeanne accuses D'Andra of being an alcoholic due to befriending Brandi who likes to drink. It presented a shift in the cast dynamics as D'Andra was Leeanne's best friend up until around that time. The season finale gives us one of Leeanne's most unhinged scenes ever where she almost gets physical with Brandi while hissing at her. As if we needed to be any more perturbed by Leeanne. The season is just overall bonkers, and I truly believe it is one of the best seasons of Housewives ever. If you disagree with me, argue with the wall.  

Thank you for reading my rankings of The Real Housewives of Dallas seasons. Let me know what you think in the comments! Be kind to one another! Have a great day!

     

Ranking "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" Seasons

   

     Over the past year or so, I developed an obsession with The Real Housewives franchise. The shows have kept my mental state stable ever since the pandemic hit. Since I have started my binge of the series, I have kept a ranking of each season of each respective franchise. In honor of the eleventh season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey ending this week, I have decided that I will rank this series first. The New Jersey Housewives are gaudy and delusional, yet wildly entertaining, so I had a difficult time ranking each season because most of the seasons are pretty decent. The show has never truly had an awful season, except season six, of course. I will rank each season from worst to best. Let's get to the ranking!

11. Season 6

     I mean, really? If you do not think that this is the worst season of RHONJ, then we need to have a serious discussion. Not only is this the worst season of RHONJ, but it's one of the worst seasons across the entire franchise. From an unlikable and almost too trashy cast to forgettable storylines, this season was a train wreck that you almost always wanted to look away from and did. The Marcheses are awful and unbearable right from the first scene you meet them. Also, they treated their son like scum after the show once he came out to them, so that taints my view of them even more. Teresa was completely checked out of this season, and rightfully so since she would be going to prison soon after. The twins were attention hogs, and the audience could not distinguish the two. Dina Manzo makes her return after a three-season hiatus, only for her to quit once again at the reunion. The whole season was just a mess, and many fans just wanted the show to be cancelled due to how abysmal the season was. Next case. 

10. Season 3

     This season was decent. That is all I can say about it. The premiere episode with the Gorga's christening was one of the most explosive events across all Housewives cities. It encapsulates why I love reality television. I did like the introduction of the Giudice vs. Gorga feud, but they were mostly in a standoff the entire season. They did not really fight too much. They only threw passive aggressive digs at each other. Teresa's disdain of sprinkle cookies entered Housewives lore which is pretty hilarious. 

     I think this season was the worst in terms of the Giudice/Gorga story arc as it lasted another two seasons after this. This is definitely not a bad season, but it's not groundbreaking either. Moving on. 

9. Season 5

     This season concludes the Giudice/Gorga feud. I think I rate this season above season three because there is a satisfying ending to all of the chaos and confusion that the two families put each other through. Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga finally get into a physical altercation after three seasons of gibes and threats towards one another, which became a classic scene in RHONJ. This was also the final season for Caroline Manzo, and I think she went out in a pleasurable way as she was an impetus for the two families forgiving each other. I was just really excited that the feud between the two parties ended because the storyline was beginning to be really tiring to myself and the audiences as well. It was a decent season overall. Let's get to the next season. 

8. Season 7  

     Season 7 is known as a transitional season between the two RHONJ eras. The season begins with Teresa's release from prison, giving us one of the most emotional scenes of the series when she reunites with her daughters. Another iconic scene is when Teresa indirectly fires her cousins from the show by refusing to interact with them anymore. It was so satisfying to see those two get their comeuppance. Jacqueline Laurita also makes her return this season as a slightly more unhinged version of herself. Ok. More like a lot more unhinged. The season suffers from the two newbies, Dolores and Siggy, trying to play peacemakers rather than getting involved in the drama. However, when there was drama, it was dynamic and explosive. Thankfully the succeeding season brought the viewers into a new era for the franchise. 

7. Season 1

     The season that started it all places at the seventh best season of the show. Season 1 is definitely one of the best freshman seasons of all the Housewives shows. Even if you are not familiar with these reality shows, everyone has seen the gif of Teresa flipping over the table. It is a pop culture moment for the ages. 

     Though the drama was not anything too volatile, Danielle Staub's disdain for fellow housewife Dina Manzo is hilariously entertaining. The season exposes us to Staub's tumultuous past as someone who was ensnared in a kidnapping crime, revealing the darkness that some of women have in their personal lives. I was actually on Staub's side during most of the season due to my belief that the other women were ganging up on her; however, the revelation of Danielle trying to have Dina's child taken away from her was quite below the belt, even if fascinating.

6. Season 11

     The most recently aired season of RHONJ ranks right in the middle of all the seasons. What I have noticed about this season is that it was a very polarizing watch. Some fans were smitten with it while other fans loathed it. I personally really enjoyed it. I think the Jersey Shore dinner from hell episode is one of the best episodes of all time. Everyone (except Dolores) got involved in the drama that episode, and it was mesmerizing as a Housewives fan. The second half did not include that many energetic fights; however, I still admired the group dynamics that the women showed. I was enamored with the way in which the women's personal storylines affected the group drama. We do not really see that too much anymore on these shows, so it was nice to see these personal stories play a prominent part in group settings. I believe that Season 11 will age better in the long run because it really was a tremendously intriguing season of the series. 

5. Season 4

     Season 4 is like The Empire Strikes Back of the Giudice/Gorga feud trilogy. It's the second installment, and it runs circles around its predecessor in terms of quality. The drama ramps up when compared to the previous season. Teresa and Melissa almost get physical with each other. Caroline and Jacqueline turn against Teresa. Teresa is accused of starting a rumor that Melissa was a stripper in her past, leading to one of the most intense reunions of all time as Teresa takes on her other four castmates by herself. Not to mention that the Napa Valley trip is all kinds of wacky. Season 4 is exceptional, and it solidified my love for this particular franchise. 

4. Season 10

     This season marks the final appearance of Danielle Staub as a friend of the housewives. Season 10 is a continuation of the carnage that the women left at the end of season 9. Danielle and Margaret continue their heated rivalry leading to one of the most iconic moments in reality television history when Danielle pulls Margaret's hair and drags her for several seconds. This altercation leads to the shocking, yet believable revelation that Teresa was the one behind Danielle pulling Margaret's hair as the fourth wall is broken due to Teresa being mad at production for using the footage to "expose" her. The Housewives franchise never used this technique in terms of storytelling before, so it was incredibly jarring to see them do this. Also, Jennifer continues her shenanigans of messing with the other women for the hell of it which is always commendable on a reality show.  Season 10 is a brilliant chapter in the new RHONJ age.

3. Season 9

     Three words come to mind when season 9 is brought up. The Cabo Dinner. Who can forget Margaret throwing wine at Danielle for talking about her children? Who can forget Danielle then trying to kill Margaret with a wine glass? It is such a masterpiece of a train wreck. Season 9 saw the two strong additions of Jackie and Jennifer who were at each other's throats due to Jackie writing a commentary on Jennifer spoiling her children. Also, we finally witness Teresa attain a new enemy in Jackie as she hits Teresa's nerves of talking about her ex-husband. There are just so many iconic feuds and fights in this season that makes it so spectacular. Jackie and Jennifer really breathed fresh air into the franchise. 

2. Season 8

     Though Siggy Flicker turned out to be a piece of you-know-what in real life due to her spewing false conspiracies, she managed to be a catalyst for the majority of the drama in this season. In season 7, she tried to be peacemaker, only to transform into a total monster during this season over not being included in a trivial event. (That's all I wanted!!!! Anyone?) She was totally unhinged, and it made for excellent television, even if she did get grating after awhile. Danielle Staub also made her grand return in this season, and she did not waste any time getting the mess started. One of her most iconic moments on the show is having a temper tantrum due to Siggy calling her out of her name to which Danielle then throws multiple wine glasses in a restaurant in Italy. We also witness the Posche fashion show debacle where Teresa famously makes up her own acronym for Posche. Margaret also makes her RHONJ debut by immediately developing a feud with Siggy. Dolores finally pulls her weight on the cast by calling Danielle a "scumbag." There is not a single filler episode in this season, and it cemented the new age of RHONJ as being bright.

1. Season 2

     Without a doubt, season 2 is the best season of not only RHONJ but all of the Housewives shows. Danielle Staub continues her wrath and delusions from season 1 and ups the antics to a 100. Though the other four women barely interact with Danielle throughout the season, the times in which they do are compelling and historic reality television moments. Teresa and Jacqueline chase Danielle through a restaurant when they encounter her to where Jacqueline's daughter then pulls Danielle's hair. Danielle makes fan-favorite housewife Dina quit the show due to Danielle's delusions of Dina being out to get her. We witness the deluded Kim G. play both sides between the women, showing up at Jacqueline's house multiple times much to Jacqueline's annoyance. Danielle hires bodyguards to follow her wherever she goes for the majority of the season, showcasing how criminally insane she is. Finally, the finale features a mafia styled sit down between the highly sanctimonious Caroline and the deranged Danielle, giving social media the famous "You're a clown" gif. This season is the pinnacle of reality television due to the fantastic casting, wonderful production, and shocking moments. The Real Housewives franchise will never be this raw and berserk ever again which makes this season even more special than it already is

Thank you for reading my ranking of the RHONJ seasons. It is always great to escape from real life by watching people make complete buffoons of themselves on television for our viewing pleasures. I will be making other rankings for the other series, so stay tuned for those rankings! Have a great rest of your day, and be kind to one another out there! 

Top 10 Best TV Episodes of 2020

      Woah. What a year. Actually...pardon my words. What a terrible year. Though this year was doomed from the start, at least television kept our minds off of the hardships and turmoil this year put us through. If I am being honest though, I did not get around to watching as much "quality" television this year due to my trashy reality television binge. However, I did see a good chunk of shows to make a list of what I perceive to be the top ten best television episodes of 2020. I made a list last year and was interested to see what made my list. I will not rank these episodes from best to worst as the themes of these shows just may not correlate with others, so it would be unfair to rank them. Spoilers ahead!!!

Honorable mention: Solar Opposites - "Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear"

     I have to give a quick shoutout to Solar Opposites. The show may not have been the best thing that has happened since sliced bread, but I did have a love for the debut season. The episode goes into the world of the humans who were shrunk down by Yumyulack and Jesse as they fight a civil war in their new society. For a comedy, this episode actually was extremely emotional. The episode deviates from the main story to explore a different narrative, and it works. Through twists and turns, this episode was hands down my favorite episode of the first season, and I really hope they do a sequel to this episode.

1. Curb Your Enthusiasm - "Happy New Year"

     Curb remains one of my favorite comedies and for good reason. This whole past season was simply incredible. Particularly, the first episode was amazing from beginning to end. Larry David uses his great timing and comedic relief to wear a MAGA hat to keep people from bothering him. The episode also sets up the sexual harrassment storyline, creating a hilarious yet semi-respectful take on the troubling times in current-day Hollywood. The politics are not overbearing as they present just the right amount for people not to get angry or bothered by it, showing the ingenuity of Larry David.

2. Survivor - "War is Not Pretty"

     In a season full of false hopes and disappointing outcomes comes an episode that even had me on the edge of my seat. Winners at War, the latest season to have aired, was a huge flop in my eyes. The season was not completely terrible, but it did not meet my expectations in the slightest as fan-favorites were voted out early in rapid succession. Though I have negative thoughts on this season, "War is Not Pretty" is hands down one of the best episodes of Survivor. Adam was one of the players I detested on this season (though I enjoy him in real life), so for his downfall to be so glorious to watch made up to an extent some of the frustrations I had about this season. Production sets him up this whole episode to look victorious only for him to completely fumble minutes before he is voted out as he thinks he can be saved at tribal council in a twist that has never been done before. My family was laughing hysterically when he thought Jeff's podium was a hidden immunity idol. Adam, thank you for giving me a laugh during the beginning of the pandemic. 

3. The Queen's Gambit - "Openings"

     Though I do not know how to play chess nor will I ever learn to play chess (I just don't care), The Queen's Gambit was a surprise for me. Immediately, I got attached to Beth Harmon as her tragic childhood is slowly revealed. "Openings" is an amazing premiere that allows the viewers to see how Beth becomes interested in the game of chess. Her ambition mixed with the start of her drug addiction at such a young age complicates your feelings on the events of the story, but nonetheless, "Openings" makes you want to learn how Beth Harmon goes from a novice chess player to an expert level in the span of only a short time. 

4. The Crown - "Terra Nullius"

     This season of The Crown took a slightly different approach in storytelling as the royal family we have been following for three seasons took a back seat in terms of amount in screen time, and the new characters of Princess Diana and Margaret Thatcher became big focuses instead. "Terra Nulius" explores the turmoil, destruction, and mistrust between Charles and Diana as they tour Australia. The two reconcile in the middle of the episode only for Charles to become jealous of Diana's popularity where he permanently damages their relationship for the rest of the season. It was this episode where I realized that Charles was not the decent man he was in season three. This episode is very depressing as this toxic relationship actually existed, though the acting was superb and the writing was quite strong. This episode proves to be why The Crown is one of the best television shows to have ever existed. 

5. Ozark - "Fire Pink"

     I truly believe Laura Linney's performance on this season of Ozark will go down in history. Specifically, "Fire Pink" is where she shines brightest. In "Fire Pink," Wendy hides her bipolar brother from the cartel after revealing to Helen's daughter the truth of Helen's occupation. After several mishaps and outbursts from Ben, Wendy makes the difficult decision to alert the cartel of Ben's location so that they can kill him. Perhaps the most heart wrenching moment of the series is when Wendy has a mental breakdown over her decision as she acknowledges the woman she has become. This show continues to amaze me, and it is due largely because of "Fire Pink."

6. Tiger King - "The Secret"

     Tiger King takes the cake as truly one of the most bizarre, yet intriguing television series to ever grace our screens. The show is a cultural phenomenon, and it is not just due to the madness of the mind of Joe Exotic but due to his rival, Carole Baskin. "The Secret" explores the evidence and timeline of Carole Baskin's relationship with her husband. The conspiracies surrounding his death caused an uproar by fans as they took sides as to whether Carole Baskin killed her husband or not (she did). The episode was such a mind-f**k, and it still has people talking to this very day. The episode was a 45 minute acid ride, and I was pleased at the entertainment it gave me. 

7. Unorthodox - "Part 1"

     This show came as a shock to me. When I saw that it came out, I was not interested to watch it; however, I heard rave reviews, so I decided to give it a go. It was because of the premiere that I continued to watch it because "Part 1" is incredible. Esty, a young, Jewish woman, runs away from her conservative lifestyle to find her mother in Paris. The premiere sets up the theme of the restrictions of religion. What I liked about the premiere is that any religion can be substituted in Judaism, and you may get the same result. Esty's transformation from the beginning to the end of the episode shows viewers how religion can be hypocritical no matter what it teaches you.

8. The Walking Dead - "Walk With Us"

     Yes, I know. There are still many haters of The Walking Dead, but for the most part, season ten was another incredible season of the show. Particularly, "Walk With Us" includes many twists and surprises throughout the entire episode. Gamma's death shocked me as I thought she could have been a permanent member of one of the communities. Of course, Alpha's death is surprising (if you have not read the comics), but Carol being the one behind Negan's escape in order to kill Alpha came out of left field. Carol proved once again in this episode that she is the best Walking Dead, no ifs, ands, or buts. 

9. Lovecraft Country - "Sundown"

     I admittedly stopped watching Lovecraft Country after episode three, but "Sundown" kept me watching for two more episodes. The pilot episode combined science fiction with realistic instances of racism experienced in the South during the Jim Crow Era. The episode was masterful, and it had me interested in the plot as the characters searched for the protagonist's father. I think the anthology aspect of the show kept me from watching episodes four and on, but nobody can deny that the premiere was action-packed, emotional, and disturbing - all the elements it takes to make an amazing episode of television. 

10. The Mandalorian - "Chapter 16: The Rescue"

     Ok. I did say I was not going to rank the episodes, but if I did then "Chapter 16: The Rescue" would be my favorite episode of the year. Star Wars has really placated my anxiety this year as I watched The Clone Wars this year, and I have re-watched the complete Skywalker Saga. For Star Wars I am quite thankful. The finale of The Mandalorian gave me everything I wanted in a show: action, adventure, character development, resolutions, and twists. Grogu and the Mandalorian's relationship will always be one of the best television relationships ever told and if anyone had to take Grogu away from Mando, then I am glad it's Luke Skywalker. The ultimate surprise of this year was a younger, digital Luke Skywalker making a surprise appearance in The Mandalorian. The best part of his appearance was seeing him at the peak of his use of the force as the sequel trilogy never really gave us Luke using his lightsaber skills. I loved this episode so much, and it proves that Disney can tell a good, fun, and sensible Star Wars story.

Thank you for reading my "Top 10 Best TV Episode of 2020." Let us all hope for a brighter 2021 as more television makes its way onto our screens for us to escape to. Leave a comment telling me your thoughts or your favorite TV episodes of 2020! 

Ranking the Universal Monster Movies

     The continuation of writing about horror films resumes in this week’s blog. After my review of The Witch, I wanted to broaden my scope of horror, but I did not just want to choose any random movies. I wanted to go back to the beginning of horror, and what exactly is the beginning of horror? The Universal Classic Monster movies. No, they do not officially start the horror genre, but they start horror as a pop culture phenomenon. They are so simple, yet so effective in how they create the horror setting as well as the clichés that other films would copy from them. I had never seen the original Universal Classic Monster movies before, so I thought this week was as good of a time as any! I did not want to watch all of the movies since there are over thirty of them, so I will just be ranking what you would call the “big name” movies. I will be ranking the following films: Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), The Invisible Man (1933), The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), Son of Frankenstein (1939), The Wolf Man (1941), Phantom of the Opera (1943), and Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954). Let’s get to the ranking! Spoilers ahead!!!

8. Son of Frankenstein (1939)

     Meh. I did not really enjoy this film at all. I do not think it is a bad movie per say, but it just felt uninspiring. The problem is that I had just watched the movie’s predecessors right before this one, and this movie simply does not hold a candle to those two films. I like the overall plot of Dr. Frankenstein’s son being the main star, but the Monster is barely in the film. Also, the Monster is downgraded from Bride so severely, so it feels like we are taking steps back instead of moving forward in relation to the plot, although I do think the Monster’s death in this film is very cool. The movie was just boring and way too long. I think the Frankenstein series should have just stopped after the first two since they were so amazing, and this film was just…not.

7. The Wolf Man (1941)

     Though this Classic Monster movie is a step up from Son of Frankenstein, I still felt dissatisfied when watching this one. Do not get me wrong, I think the characters of Larry and the Gypsy Woman are terrific and maybe some of the best in the Monster Universe, but even they cannot save my attitude towards the film. I wanted Larry as the werewolf to be more dangerous and scarier than he was, but I was again dissatisfied with that element of the film. The film builds these characters up, but it felt way too quick with the progression of Larry’s madness for there to be any payoff of me feeling for him or even his love interest. I know this movie is highly regarded by modern critics, but I just cannot get on board with their appreciation of this movie, so it ranks here at number seven.

6. Dracula (1931)

Now we are getting to the movies that I actually liked, and while I think Dracula was the weakest of the good movies, I still enjoyed it. I think that this movie was probably the “scariest” out of the other movies I saw. I mean none of the movies are scary considering they are outdated and maybe weaker in the special effects department, but I was perturbed a couple of times during the movie. Renfield as a character creeped me out especially when the sailors are staring at his disturbing expression on his face. Also, the uncanny castle setting at the beginning of the movie made me feel itchy and claustrophobic, and it definitely made me feel I was in Renfield’s shoes of feeling unsafe. The criticism I have with this movie is that besides Van Helsing and Dracula, I did not care about any of the characters. I know Mina is a popular character in literature and film, but there lacked character development with her. Who is she as a person? I could not tell you. Though those minor details bug me, I think the character of Dracula is great and makes for an interesting, yet frightening movie villain.

5. The Invisible Man (1933)

     What is the first word that comes to my mind when I hear The Invisible Man? Fun. That is the word because I had so much fun watching this movie. I think what I loved about this film is that it does not take itself too seriously, yet is effective in its storytelling abilities. This is the first movie in the Classic Monster Universe with Claude Rains that I saw, and he definitely left a lasting impression on me. I loved the comedy with the tavern owner and her repeated screaming, the montage where the Invisible Man is causing chaos throughout the land, and the scene where the Invisible Man kills his work partner Kemp. Those moments are definitely going to be ingrained in my head from my time of watching these Monster films. Though not a scary film, I do find an invisible person with no morals roaming the lands to be pretty eerie. Maybe it would not be too hard to catch him (for example the ending), but the presence of the unknown is a scary thing in itself. I was fully invested in this movie due to its memorable characters and its genius dialogue, so I could definitely see myself watching this again in the near future.

4. Creature of the Black Lagoon (1954)

Creature of the Black Lagoon is probably the most beautiful film in the whole list. The underwater effects of the Creature and zoologists’ scenes is so extraordinary especially for the 1950s. Not only do I think that the Amazon Rainforest is a perfect setting for the movie, but I also think the character development is really strong is this film as well. The characters feel very real, so you have to feel scared for them in their bizarre situation. One of my favorite scenes in the list of movies I watched came from this movie, and it was the scene where the Creature is below Kay in the water. The way the stuntman mimicked her every move in the water was so fascinating to watch that it came to be no shock when I found out that the scene is one of the most popular scenes in cinema history. The scene also gives us a peek into the Creature’s motives for terrorizing the crew as he is lustful towards Kay. Creature of the Black Lagoon was my first Monster movie, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. I really thought this would be in my top three favorites, but it still holds strong at the number four slot.

3. The Phantom of the Opera (1943)

Most of the people who are reading this blog post right now have probably seen some version of Phantom of the Opera at a point in their lives. The Internet requested that I should watch the 1925 version, but it is a silent film, and I just cannot keep focus when watching silent films, so I chose the 1943 version, which the Internet said I should avoid. I do not know what problem the Web had with this version because I absolutely loved this adaptation of Phantom of the Opera. Yes, I do not have prior experience with the musical, but I can tell that this was a masterpiece of a movie. The music performed throughout the movie was magnificent, and I felt very tense listening to it knowing that the Phantom could strike at any moment. Claude Rains returns to the Monster Universe in this adaptation, and he really does a great job of breathing life into the eccentric and predatory Phantom. Christine is a likable protagonist even if her love interests make her seem unlikable at times due to them not being…likable. The film’s bright and colorful atmosphere juxtaposed with the dark and mysterious plot makes this movie a must watch!

2. Frankenstein (1931)

Speaking of masterpieces, Frankenstein is definitely one for the books. You can immediately tell this is going to be a dark and gothic movie in the first scene where Frankenstein and his assistant Fritz start digging up a fresh corpse to use for their experiment. Like Creature of the Black Lagoon, you really do get attached to the characters in Frankenstein. You can clearly see that Frankenstein is a good man who is deeply disturbed and who wants to be seen as an ingenious  man. This is proven as his character progression has him rescind back to being level-headed where he can see his faults of disrupting the laws of science. His girlfriend Elizabeth is also an interesting character where I feel as if we the viewers are supposed to be seeing everything from her perspective. Not only are the characters amazing, but the setting of the tower during the lightning storm is by far the most memorable setting in all of the Monster films I have watched. From iconic lines (“It’s alive!) to iconic scenes (The Monster being burned in the windmill) this movie is basically without faults, and I can definitely see why it is considered such a staple in horror.

1. The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Coming in first place as not only the best Monster movie, but possibly one of the best movies ever is Bride of Frankenstein. If you ever wondered if there was a sequel that outperformed the original, there is, and it is Bride of Frankenstein. Not only does this movie expand upon the original story, but it also is requisite in knowing the lore of Frankenstein’s universe. From the very first scene of the Monster surviving his death and killing two villagers, I knew I was in for a treat. Though the Monster does get a bride, we see that Frankenstein’s bride becomes mad in this film as she thinks that death is coming to get her and her husband. Dr. Frankenstein takes a back seat from being the “mad scientist” as he never really wants to revert back to his old ways (though he does have doubts) until Dr. Pretorious, Frankenstein’s old teacher, eventually forces him to make a bride for the Monster so that monsters can become familiar to the world. Pretorious is such a convincing villain in that he is subtle in his wickedness as he toys with the Monster in convincing Frankenstein to build him a wife in such a calm and soothing manner. Speaking of the Monster, I cannot forget to mention that he learns to speak in this movie which again is essential to learning the motives and passions of the Monster. The part where he learns to speak from the blind man is such a powerful and riveting scene where you can feel the sadness and humiliation of the two men from being the outcasts of the village. Finally, I was confused to see that the Monster’s bride only was created in the last ten or so minutes of the movie, but then I thought that she did not have to be in the movie that long for her to be important. She was the impetus that got the Monster to realize that he would never be accepted even from his own kind and that he was made a fool of by Pretorious, so he took his life and their lives with him. You would never feel bad for the Monster if it were not for his character arc that was highlighted throughout the movie. He is by far the most complex Monster and dare I say character in all eight films I have watched. To me, Bride of Frankenstein is a flawless movie from its rich character transformations to its remarkable abilities in storytelling. It has to be a 10/10 for me because it is that astonishing.

Thank you for reading my ranking of the Universal Monster movies. Please leave a comment if you wish. I always appreciate feedback! Have a great day, and be respectful towards one another!

The Witch (2015) Review

     

     Recently, I have been obsessed with binging videos and podcasts from the YouTube channel Dead Meat . I have always had a love for horror movies with my first being Scream. Ever since then, horror films have been a huge part in my life and are a big reason why I decided to be an English major. I always hear on the Dead Meat channel that one of their favorite movies is The Witch. The film tells the story of a Puritan family who is excommunicated from their settlement due to different religious beliefs. After finding a new home, the family experiences great tragedy when their newest-born member is stolen and unbeknownst to them, killed by an old witch. Thomasin, the family’s eldest child, is mocked and tyrannized by her family for the child’s disappearance and the events that come after. Today, I will be giving my review on The Witch and what I enjoyed about the film as well as what I interpret the film to mean. Shoutout to Dead Meat for giving me the idea to watch this movie! Spoilers ahead!!! (The film is on Netflix if you are wondering where you can watch it.)


     First, I must say that I liked the film. I would definitely recommend it to you to watch. It does not depend on jump scares, but relies on the uncanny atmosphere and the unknown appearance and motivation of the witch terrorizing the family. I think that is why I liked this movie so much. I do not like horror films with a paranormal focus and the reliance on jump scares. That is why I liked Us so much. It was scary without cheap jump scares. The writers did an excellent job in transporting me to early Puritan times due to the language they used as well as the talented actors they chose to showcase in the movie. The girl who played Thomasin and the woman who played Katherine were definitely the standouts in an already outstanding cast. I also have to give a round of applause to the other child actors who took such complex roles and made them into their own.
    

     A particular scene that I loved from the film is when Caleb comes home after going missing from the family after being seduced and taken by the witch. What comes next is definitely the most startling part of the film. Caleb is definitely possessed as his mouth becomes sewn and he coughs up an apple that the witch presumably forced into him. The apple symbolizes Caleb’s possession and before he dies, he finds comfort in god with a disturbing, yet cheerful grin on his face. You have to watch the scene to get the full effect of being fearful in that moment of watching the movie, but it is very well done by the actor who plays Caleb.


     Another reason why this film is scary is because of the way Thomasin’s family treats her due to thinking she is a witch. The fact that people were treated this way by family members back in those times is unsettling, and it makes me feel for those who were persecuted because they had different thoughts and feelings then those of the “normal people.” Seriously though, I wanted to reach through my T.V. screen and strangle her family. A theory I have of what the film is trying to convey is that religion can become hypocritical if you always try to find a way bring it into matters. Thomasin is shown to be talking to god throughout the film, but she does not abuse her religion like her mother and father do, especially the mother. The mother constantly brings her religion into every matter. The other family members are shown to be more rooted in their faith than Thomasin, yet she is definitely the one who sins the least in the movie. The mother constantly berates her daughter, her father admits his pride at one point, the twins jeer at Thomasin throughout the movie’s entirety, and Caleb shows lust towards his sister and the witch. To me, the movie’s ending proves this to be valid interpretation of the film’s motivation. 


     The ending of the film shows Thomasin being the sole survivor of the witch’s hands and the family’s madness. This is most likely due to her being saved from the witch because she knows that Thomasin is most like her (and the devil’s) kind. It is ironic that the supposed “good” religion is the one that makes Thomasin feel excluded, yet the supposed “evil” religion embraces her with open arms. At one point in the film, Thomasin pretends that she is a witch and mocks the religion by teasing her twin sister for her constant jabs, yet the religion still includes her with open arms. This is not to say that the religion is not evil because it definitely is, but the movie draws parallels to both religions by showing the family’s extremist religious beliefs that eventually turn “devilish.”


     The goat, Black Phillip, is revealed to be the devil at the end of the film who is responsible for Thomasin joining the cult of witches in the woods which was definitely the other scariest part of the film. It made sense why the twins were misbehaving in the film and why they tried to blame Thomasin for the family’s troubles. The twins eventually reveal that Black Phillip has been talking to them. I think that Black Phillip was just trying to get the twins to do his dirty work by causing chaos on the farm, so that he could find a new follower which would eventually be Thomasin. The scene where Black Phillip stabs the Will, the father, with his horn actually got me. It was the only jump scare in the film, but it served the purpose of Black Phillip getting  Thomasin to join his cult, so he had to get the father out of the way to speed up the process. The twist as a whole was very clever, and I liked how the writers tapped into the lore of goats being devil-like creatures.


     Overall, the movie is well-executed, and it shows a different side of horror that is not explored enough. It plays with your mind, and it makes you wonder if certain things are truly what they seem or not. I did not know about this movie until hearing about it recently which is quite a shame because I feel as if it is underrated and underappreciated. I will eventually rewatch the movie at some point because I feel as if I will see things differently or will interpret the message of the movie in another way. 


Thank you for reading my review and interpretation of The Witch. I would really appreciate some feedback and/or comments if you can. Please be safe and be respectful towards one another!